Your toddler is having a meltdown – and right now you’ve got nothing left
Your child is screaming and throwing themselves on the floor. Maybe the baby is crying at the same time. And you can feel it: any moment now, it’s going to be too much for you as well.
Reaching your limit doesn’t make you a bad mother or a bad father. You don’t have to solve everything right now. For the moment, what matters is that you all get through this situation safely.
For the next five minutes
You don’t have to do all of this. Just take what’s possible right now.
- Keep things safe. Make sure your child can’t get hurt. If you need a little distance, take a small step back and stay close by.
- Breathe out slowly a few times. If it feels comfortable, a little longer than you breathe in. You don’t have to count anything or calm down straight away.
- Say very little. “I’m here.” Or: “I’m staying right here.” You don’t need to explain anything or find a solution right now.
Why it gets too much for you, too
A tantrum can ask a lot of you. Your child is overwhelmed by their feelings – and for you, maybe everything is coming together at once: the noise, the tiredness and the feeling of having been needed all day long.
Your child isn’t doing this to wear you down. Right now they need help with their feelings. And it’s okay for you to need support while you help them through it.
If you raised your voice, you can take responsibility for it later: “Earlier I shouted at you. That wasn’t okay. I’m sorry.” If your child wants to be close, you can find your way back to each other.
Afterwards, less can be enough
You don’t have to make the rest of the day especially nice or productive now. A simple dinner is enough. The laundry can wait. Nothing needs catching up on today.
Just ask yourself: What do we still need today – and what can wait?
If someone can take over, say as specifically as you can what you need: “I’m at my limit right now. Can you take the kids for twenty minutes?”
If nobody’s around right now, you don’t have to organize a break that isn’t possible anyway. Then the next step can be smaller: sit down, have something to drink, skip the next task.
When you can’t think of anything yourself
In FlowParent, you can tap red and say what’s draining your energy right now and how much time you have. You get short suggestions that fit what you’ve entered.
If you like, you can share your color and a short message with someone you trust. That way you don’t have to explain at length how you’re doing.
Would you rather check how full your battery is first? Take the energy check
If you’re afraid you might hurt your child, safety comes first: take your child to a safe place, put a little distance between you and get support right away. You don’t have to deal with this alone. FlowParent is no substitute for counseling or therapy.